[b]ECW November to Remember 1997
ECW World Tag Title Four Way Elimination Match
FBI (Little Guido and Tracy Smothers)(c) vs. Balls Mahoney and Axl Rotten vs. The Dudley Boys (Buh Buh Ray and D-Von) vs. The Gangstanators (New Jack and Kronus)[/b]
“Well, well, well what a lovely night for an evening. I am the Quintessential Muff Stuffer…oops I mean Stud Muffin and a damn hand man, like a Rubin the more play with it the harder it gets, Joel “so big I can’t keep from hurtinher” Gertner.”
Crass. Lowbrow. Aged horribly. All true but damn could I listen to Gertner for hours. Anyway, welcome to the most chaotic goddamn match I’ve seen this side of World War 3. I’ll just echo Joeys sentiments of having no idea how to call this. Dudley’s and FBI are out first but Axl and Balls sneak in from behind and wayleigh both teams with chairs. Then they pull out a series of tag combos like they're suddenly the goddamn Brain Busters. The chaos continues with “Big Don” Tommy Rich and Big Dick Dudley getting their hands dirty…and then New Jack comes out and any semblance of order just leaves.
The Gangstanators bring the plunder with everything from cheese graters to a goddamn mailbox. To the surprise of no one the blood quickly gets flowing. In the midst of all of this chaos, Kronus pulls out a martial arts combo, Big Dick pulls out a Moonsault, Kronus hits a 450, and Bubba takes out almost everyone with a Plancha. Imagine watching a prison riot movie and Old Man Marley starts double legging guards and Suplexing inmates. It’s fucking madness. Tommy Rich isn’t safe either. He takes an Avalanche El Kabong and blades like he’s main eventing Memphis against Lawler in ‘84.
Even once teams start getting eliminated the chaos does not cease (Buh Buh shoot almost paralyzes Guido at one point). There’s a little more coherent wrestling but it’s also on fast forward after the first team gets eliminated and we reach the finish before you know it.
This isn’t a good match, I can’t even fathom calling this a good match, but I loved every second of this. It’s chaotic, it’s sloppy, it’s outlaw mud show bullshit that would make Cornettes asshole spin, and by God is it entertaining. This is what all the critics thought of when they thought of ECW. Just a bunch of dudes killing brain cells for sub twenty minutes and probably setting the industry back a couple decades, but who cares it’s a goddamn hoot. Go into this with the same mindset you’d go into a Van Damme movie and it won’t disappoint.
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