Lucha Underground: Ultima Lucha Uno
Cero Miedo Match
Pentagon Jr. vs. Vampiro
Lucha Undergorund S1 is one of the all time wrestling shows, fight me. Naturally, they needed a big show to cap off the season, a WrestleMania like event, a Starrcade, a November to Remember, and thus they gave Ultima Lucha. Feuds came to a head, titles were defended, blood was spilled, all for the rabid Believers in the Temple. The network that aired Lucha Underground was the brainchild of director Robert Rodriguez and featured a very ‘70s grindhouse theater aesthetic.
The Cero Miedo Match from the second night of Ultima Lucha 1. In the weeks leading up to Ultima Lucha, Pentagon Jr./El Cero Miedo/Dark/Oscuro/The Artist Formerly Known As had been breaking the arms of his opponents as sacrifices to a mysterious master. Things reached a boiling point when LU commentator Vampiro prevented Penta from breaking the arm of the original Sexy Star…wonder if he regrets that. But anyway, this made Vamp Pentas next target and after weeks of goading Vampiro finally agreed to step back in the ring after ten years.
Vamp comes out dressed like Papa Emeritus from the band Ghost, looks sick as hell. That matters not to Penta however who blindsides Vamp with a chair while he’s walking in the crowds adulation. He proceeds to beat the ever loving shit out of Vamp with the chair and the fight spills into the crowd where Vamp mounts a small comeback. In a hilarious moment, Penta chucks some fans drink at Vampiro as he’s trying to get away.
More chair shots and an FU on the bare floor causes the ref to intervene citing an injury to Vampiro. Penta doesn’t listen and continues his assault until the ref gains control. Vamp is stretchered off but actually fights the EMTs and returns to the ring.
The legend gains control and introduces a bag of thumbtacks to the match. Yeah it’s that KIND of match baby. Penta takes a slam into the racks but Vampiro is too into the rush and misses a Twisting Senton onto said tacks. Then we hit second gear. Penta introduces the light tubes. He cries them over Vamps head/shoulder/neck and Vamp is almost instantly covered in blood…so naturally Penta goes and grabs more lighttubes. He strikes Vampiro again but unsatisfied with his bloodshed so far, he digs a broken piece of the tubes into Vamps head. Whihc just seems to invigorate Vampiro.
The legend mounts a comeback and rips the mask of Penta. Not only a huge sign of disrespect but a harbinger of what’s about to happen. Vamp takes the third set of lighttubes Penta brought in and cracks Penta with it. The blood pours and the mat is a mess of dirt, glass, tacks, and bloods…it’s like a battlefield if Bravehearts battlefield was the CZW Arena.
Vamp is firmly in control and the crowd is losing their shit over this match. Vamp produces a table from under the ring along with a lighter, and lighter fluid. There’s an old adage in wrestling, he who sets up the table must go through it. With the fire lit, Vamp turns to Penta to finish the job but Penta turns the tables. The spot doesn’t go the way it should. The table halves remain on fire and Vamp is actually on fire. He rolls out of the ring to get out but the fires almost put anyway. The fucking ring mat is even on fire. This is nuts but also the end. Penta pins Vampiro outside of the ring.
Penta starts to call for his master but Vamp insists that Penta breaks his arm. Penta has no problem obliging. After breaking Vamps arm, he calls for his master to reveal himself and his master obliges…as Vampiro reveals himself as Pentas teacher! Penta bows and that’s wrap.
It’s a violent spectacle that still holds up some 8 years later. It’s all about story here and it’s very well told. Matt Striker on commentary does his part even if it does get grating the third or fourth he mentions we’re not watching Ian Hodgkinson we’re watching the darker, evil inner personality Vampiro. God shut up Matt.
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