Day 12 2024

 

WCW/NWA Clash of Champions: St. Valentines Massacre

Singles Match

The Blackmailer w/ Hiro Matusda vs Lex Luger

Recently I’ve been watching Jim Cornette shoot interview recounting the years 1989 and 1990 in WCW. So I’ve been itching to watch something from that era but I wanted something not good, something I could riff on, these reviews have been too positive Damnit! So I picked the lowest rated Clash on Cagematch and picked a match. As soon as I scanned the card I knew what match I was gonna do…Hello Lex. 

Now I have a soft spot for The Total Package but on the other hand he’s one half of one of the worst matches I’ve ever seen because some dumbfuck decided to give him and Bagwell sixteen fucking minutes in the middle of the card at Starrcade. Blegh. Anyway, his opponent is The Blackmailer. Jack Victory under a mask working double duty as he played a Russian in the opening match. He’s neither Russian or a blackmailer (as far as I’m aware at least) and he looks like Great Sasukes drunk uncle. We’re in for a winner folks.

Problems immediately arise as they keep cutting to random chicks in the audience. Because I watch wrestling for random broads and not the wrestling. Early on a lot of this is a rinse and repeat formula. Luger does a spot, stop and stare for a bit. Another Luger spot, stop and stare. Comeback from Drunkle Sasuke, immediately countered by Lex. 

Folks I’m writing this review in the middle of the match, I have it paused right now as I’m writing this because I just watched Lex and Blackmailer go into their SIXTH straight Headlock spot. Magnum T.A., bless his fucking heart, says Luger is going back to basics. My ass, all he’s got is the basics and some schmuck thought to give him thirteen minutes against someone he shouldn’t be going five minutes with. No offense to Jack Victory  but he is not a Ric Flair. 

Anyway back to it. Luger hits a Press Slam and tries for a Running Forearm but Blackmailer dodges. He takes control as he tries to wear Luger out for a count out victory to no avail. Lex comes back and tries for a Sunset Flip but the Mailman holds onto the rope until the ref kicks his hand away. Pretty sure that’s biased officiating but whatever. Karl Malone takes control over Lex for most of the ending stretch which includes a goddamn Seated Rear Chinlock Spot. I’m gonna have to watch a Sabu match after this. Anyway, Luger comes back, beats the shit out of the heel, and wins with Barry Windhams finisher because they had a match coming. 

Well this happened. This should not have been a competitive (competitive is a strong word) match. Again no offense to Victory but Luger should’ve run over him and put him in the Rack in like four minutes tops. The action was boring at best, neither really sold too much, and I just didn’t care about any of this. Magnum and J.R. are great but it doesn’t help.