Day 25 2020

 

Day 25 

WrestleMania 12

Yep the whole show. 

Our opening contest is a Six Man Tag Team Match. It’s Camp Cornette (Vader, Owen Hart, and Davey Boy Smith) vs. Yokozuna, Ahmed Johnson and Jake Roberts...truly an all star team if I’ve ever seen one. The face team is announced as being over a thousand pound combined which I hope is kayfabe because most of that was probably Yokozuna and I feel bad for the big man. That said him and Vader are actually mu highlights of this match. Any time their in the ring with each other they just throw bombs at each other. The other four handle most of the match which isn’t bad but it’s also nothing great. The match begins and ends with a wild brawl but in between it’s just an ok In Your House match at best. It’s WM boys you should’ve done better. 

Oh boy here we go! The next match is the start of the Hollywood Backlot Brawl! It’s a few minutes of Hot Rod beating the piss out of Goldust. Goldust takes everything, baseball shots, trash cans, being thrown into a catering table and a dumpster, hell Piper even chucks a soda can at him for good measure. Goldust eventually sneaks in a low blow and runs over Piper with his gold car. Personally that’s where I would’ve ended thing but Vince can’t help himself so Piper gives chase and we’ll check back on those two later. 

Back to the Pond for our next match, Steve Austin vs. Savio Vega. I expected this to be our first “traditional” wrestling match but nope. Tensions are high and the two slug it out. Eventually Austin gains control and slows the pace and works over Vegas arm. They keep up a the pace and aggression but the match peaked with the opening brawl. Not that it’s a terrible match, I actually enjoyed it more then I expected. If you can’t tell this match gave me like nothing to work with. Another ok match. 

Things are getting worse before they get better. Our next match is the infamous match between Hunter Hearst Helmsley and The Ultimate Warrior. Between Warriors contract and his pyro I’m surprised anyone else on this show got paid. Maybe they had a collection plate going around Gorilla. Anyway this is basically a squash match. HHH gets some offense and even hits his finisher, but the Warrior doesn’t sell it, gets his shit in, and fucks off. You can tell 1996 was a transitional period because Warrior looks really out of place which is strange considering Goldust is running around. 

Fun fact the last match was also the debut of Sable. Right after we get another debut as Todd Pentigall introduces the newest superstar Marc Mero (or Marc Mauro as Todd calls him). Man Austin had a wild three years following this show but at least he went upwards. Poor Mero peaked in ‘96 and everything else was downhill as Sable became more famous. Now he’s a motivational speaker and she’s living on a farm in Buttfuck, Canada...life is strange. 

Anyway back to wrestling, it’s time for Diesel vs. Undertaker! Though he may have been the fifth victim of the Streak, Diesel was arguably its first real star and first great match. The beat on each other and bump like hell for each other. The match does slow down after a double Big Boot spot but the quality doesn’t drop at all. The crowd is firmly anti-Diesel and these get every bit of that emotion out of them with Taker taking and withstanding two Jackknife Powerbomb. Great moment and great match. Easily the match of the night so far. 

In the back we get the continuation of the Backlot Brawl as Goldie and Piper drift into the arena. The two chase each other to the ring where the brawl continues. Go,dust takes advantage and commits a couple acts o sexual harassment before a kiss pushes Piper too far. Piper gives Goldie the Grapefruit Claw, drops a knee into his balks, and then rips off his outfit revealing the infamous lingerie. Another knee to the balls ends things as Goldie basically forfeits. I could do without the sexual harassment spots but other then that really fun match overall.

We’ve reach our main event, my original plan for Day 25. The Iron Man Match for the WWF Championship, Bret Hart defending the title against Shawn Michaels. I’ve seen both sides of the argument with this match. Either it’s a classic or it’s boring and overrated. I fall somewhere in the middle. 

The match is paced really well. The two wrestle in the mat for a majority of the match with HBK being the dominant one while the Hitman grows frustrated and injured. These moments are broken up by the faster paced stuff that I prefer and sees everyone from the two competitors to poor Mark Yeaton getting bumped around. The two are masters of the sport and know their assigned roles. Bret kills it as the frustrated champ and HBK is a natural resultant babyface. They bump their asses off for each other when necessary and both men come out looking like winners. I shouldn’t mention this because of the stories against Lawler, but his commentary was really good too (I can’t stand Vinces announcer voice sometimes). For sixty minutes, two greats did exactly what their known to do and delivered a hell of a match. Like I said, I personally wouldn’t call this a classic but I wasn’t as bored as I expected be and really enjoyed some parts of this match 

Overall in the pantheon of WrestleManias, 12 is ok. Nothings out right terrible and the shows an easy watch. Even the Iron Man match flies by at certain points. The card is indicative of the changing company as New Gen PPV mainstays like Razor Ramon, Tatanka, and 123 Kid are no where to be seen. And if nothing else, this was a big improvement on WM 11. 

Day 24 2020

 

WCW Halloween Havoc 1992

Coal Miners Glove Match

Jake Roberts vs. Sting

Well this was a bad idea and so was this review. Before we get to the match let’s talk about the stipulation for a second. I don’t think I’ve ever seen this broken down but it’s a mess before the bell even rings. First off, the pole is an actual pole. It’s not a pole with a hook that the wrestlers can easily reach from the second turnbuckle. Nope instead one of them has to actually shimmy up this pole to get the glove at the top like they’re fucking Mulan. 

Secondly, the aforementioned glove, completely optional. This match could’ve ended without either man actually getting the glove. The match is non-sanctioned so why is a pinfall or submission an acceptable method of victory? Wouldn’t it make more sense to book it so that if you get the glove, it’s in play and the first person to knock out the other with the glove? 

Ok that aside let’s get to the match. It stinks. It’s pole match so it’s one of those matches with a formula and boy do this guys not try to do anything out of the box except for one spot where Sting stripper swings on the pole and nails Roberts with an elbow. There’s aslo just moments where the two just stand around. Like not playing to the crowd or camera, just standing still. It’s like they forgot what they had planned. They try to incorporate some storytelling here with Sting working over Jakes DDT’ing arm but it doesn’t matter as Jake still hits the move with the damaged arm...then Sting no sells the DDT so that whole series of events was ultimatum pointless. 

Oh the arm doesn’t play into the finish by the way which is a whole other mess. So spoilers for a twenty year old match. Cactus Jack comes to the ring while Sting is climbing the pole not to stop the Stinger but to hand Jake a snake handlers glove and the bag with his cobra in it. Meanwhile, Sting retrieves the glove. Then the cobra is supposed to have bitten Jake in the face but there’s no way of showing the snake turned so one second Jake is holding the snake fine then the next he’s swaying around acting like the snake bit him. 

Sting comes and punches Jake, who proceeds to roll over the poor snake, and pins him. During this you can clearly see that the snake hasn’t actually latched on as Jake pulls it away from him before trying again. 

Well that was something. I think this was Jakes one and only televised match which is like going into a job interview and just shitting on the floor. The stipulation was a mess and neither man seemed eager to even try and make it work. I know both men are capable of better. And yes I’d rather watch the Human Torch match then this simply because it’s shorter. 

Day 23 2020

 

ECW Holiday Hell 2000

ECW Title Three Way Dance 

Steve Corino(c) w/ Jack Victory vs. Sandman vs. Justin Credible w/ Dawn Marie

Corinos the champ but Sandman has the belt...I don’t know and Styles isn’t there to clarify. Hell unless you know you’re history you wouldn’t even know Corino was champ until the end of the match. Spoilers? Whatever. There’s not much here it’s your standard ECW brawl...at first. 

After Credible is eliminated Sandman takes control from Corino. After throwing the King of Old School through the middle rope and through a table the Sandman encourages the fans to throw their chairs into the ring with the poor referee still in there. I’d say him and Corino were completely safe but not all those chairs cleared the ropes and some even bounced off. The ref is fine though until a few seconds later when he accidentally gets Sabu’ed by Corino. The ring is full of chairs and the two are slipping around like it’s an ice level. Hell Victory takes a bump after accidentally hitting Corino with the belt. 

The final ECW show in the ECW Arena ends as it should in pure chaos. There’s a good portion of this match we don’t see as the camera focuses on the Sandman collecting plunder instead of the fight in the crowd. It’s not a good match but it’s not terrible either. 

Day 22 2020

 

1/15/1977

Kendo Nagasaki w/ Gorgeous George vs. Giant Haystacks 

I couldn’t the promotion or show this was from, sorry. 

Eight five minute rounds, two falls to a finish. I’ve always been fascinated by the old round system but up until the Heritage Cup I’ve never actually sat down at watched much of the classic stuff. So here we are then. 

The first round starts with Haystacks in control using his size to knock around Nagasaki. Nagasaki eventually comes back and begins to wail on Haystacks. Along the way Nagasaki takes full advantage of every little rule. The second round see Nagasaki continuing his assault before Haystacks comes back, rips the mask, and forces Nagasaki to tap. Neither man waste any time going into the third round. Nagasaki once again comes out on top and cuts Haystacks open. The ref calls the match and awards the contest to Nagasaki due to a TKO. 

This was a fun match. Neither do anything groundbreaking or extravagant but they have a nice match. The commentator was dull and the finish was kind of weak but it was a different time. 

Day 21 20202

 

ECW on TNN 8/18/2000

Six Man Tag Team Match

FBI (Little Guido, Tony Mamaluke, and Sal E. Graziano) vs. Psicosis, Tajiri, and Mikey Whipwreck w/ Sinister Minister

“We knew Psicosis was psycho but now he’s proven he’s an idiot” 

Five of these don’t fuck around here. The match moves quick showing off some really good wrestling between the babyfaces and Gudio and Mamaluke. Not a slight on Sal as the big fat lad has a role and he plays it well. That role is mostly coming to squish the little guys and get triple teamed. Seriously I feel so bad for the dude, he takes three kicks in the face from Tajiri. Dude probably woke up with a migraine for the next year. 

The smaller guys worked great together but there’s not a lot of that spectacular action you’d expect. There’s some don’t get me wrong but they’d much more time on a PPV or super show to pull out some really crazy shit. That said this was still really good. Two thirds of the FBI work very well with the babyfaces and Sal does good at what he’s there to do which isn’t much but still. 

Day 20 2020

 

Progress Chapter 30: Super Strong Style 16 2016 Night One 

First Round Match

Chris Hero vs. Mark Andrews

The fans are into both men from the jump which is always a good sign. The start simple with Hero mostly out powering Andrews. But once Andrew gets a leg up on Hero, Hero proceeds to beat the ever loving fuck out of Andrews. Fists, chops, boots, elbows, Hero doesn’t run the gamut so much as he throws it square at Mandrews. Bless his heart, Mandrews tries to fight back but it almost ends up with Hero back in control.

As the match builds the crowd only get hotter and hotter. The two start to throw more and more of their arsenal at each other leading to some very well received near falls. Andrews is great as the fighting underdog while Hero excels at being the experienced dickhead bully. 

This was a great match. It builds and builds with both men taking everything from the other. Like I said above both men played their roles perfectly and showed really good chemistry for first time opponents. Add a very hot crowd and you’ve got a fucking winner. 

Day 19 2020

 

WWF Raw 8/17/1998

Brawl for All Semi-Finals

The Godfather vs. Bart Gunn

Yep I’m actually doing this. And to my surprise we come in with a little bit of backstory. In the previous nights Heat Godfather helped Vader soften up Gunn for this contest. You didn’t need to know that because Bart doesn’t appear off at all...and if you know your history, he actually wins this damn thing. 

The match goes three rounds total. The first is a bit of a slow start, as they mostly dance around with not a lot of shots connecting. The second round is a full on slugger and Bart lands a lot of nasty shots, including one right to the face that knocks Godfather on his ass at the end of the round. The third round doesn’t last long. Bart makes quick work of the battered Godfather quickly taking him out with a strong right hook. 

This is usually the part where I sum my thoughts and give my opinion of the quality of the match. But I mean come on, it’s the goddamn Brawl fro All. I knew what I was getting into. It’s place on wrestling s worst ideas list is strongly cemented and no one came out of it looking good except for the actual boxer that wasn’t even on the payroll. I don’t know what makes a decent boxing match but maybe this is it. Bottom line, I’ve seen worse.