Day 8 2021

 

WWF Armageddon 1999

Tag Team Match

The Holly’s (Hardcore and Crash Holly) vs. Viscera and Rikishi Phatu

We got us a hoss fight ladies and gentlemen! If you don’t get that joke, read a book.  Originally I was planning on reviewing Steve Blackman vs. Kurt Angle from the same show but that didn’t give me much to work worth with. It was good match but just flat. So o decided to try this one instead. 

 

Vis is announced at 450+ pounds and J.R. makes a joke about him being a Cinnabon or biscuit away from 500 pounds. Imagine walking through your local mall and seeing someone dressed like Vis standing in line at Cinnabon. Rikishi seems to be between gimmicks at this point as he’s still called Phatu but has “You Look Fly Today” as his theme. Interesting…no it really isn’t. 

The Holly’s try to get the jump on the fat lads but Kish beats them to the punch and ends up squishing poor Crash. He tries to squish him a second time but Sparky saves his cousin. Doesn’t matter as they continue to spend a majority of the match getting beat up by Kish and Vis. 

They eventually get somewhere but hanging up on Viscera. This too goes tits up as Crash tries for another Sunset Flip and gets a XXL Leg Drop for his troubles. More guts then brains that Crash. Vis tags in Rikishi who looks put Crash away with a Rikishi Drop/Driver but Vis ends up missing Hardcore and hits Kish with a Wheel Kick that gives the hicks the win. 

This had no right to be better then a Kurt Angle match. The four don’t fuck around and keep it simple. They get in, do their shit, and get out in under 10 minutes. Brilliant. Not a great match per say but definitely a fun time waster. 

Day 7 2021

 

WSX Unaired Episode 10

The Cartel (Delikado and Lil’ Cholo) vs. Los Pauchos Gaupos (Kaos and Aaron Aguilera)

Delikado is B-Boy under a mask and Aguilera stabbed John Cena once. I don’t know much about Cholo and Kaos outside of Cholos name appearing on some old PWG cards. 

Anyway, LPG have the mamacitas at home and the Cervezas on ice cause they got business to handle. They go right after El Jefe and  Mongol who accompanied Cartel to ringside. The action remains quick paced and Kaos takes a dive onto the managers. They tease Cholo going into the tank first but arguably the fall he takes is almost as bad. The tank was on a metal platform and Cholo hit the side of it and falls into the very small space between the platform and the ring steps. 

We get a second tease of The Cartel losing but in a brilliant move, Jefe and Mongol put a wooden pallet over the tank. A+ teamwork and psychology on WSX of all places, someone call Gwen Stefani. We get a little more brawling and some tank teases. The big story is that LPG are finally looking like a cohesive unit…then it goes to hell and Aguilera accidentally knocks Kaos into the tank instead of the Cartel member he was aiming for. 

This is just stupid fun. Exactly what WSX brought to the table en route to making their mark on wrestling.

Day 6 2021

 

AWA Super Sunday

AWA Title Match

Hulk Hogan vs. Nick Bockwinkel (c) w/ Bobby “The Brain” Heenan

The above picture has nothing to do with this match but I couldn’t pass up the chance to use it.

The fact that this one match could’ve changed history as we know it is mind boggling. It’s also something of a clash of ideals. Bockwinkel represents Verne Gagnes idea of a champion, an old school shooter that can get business done if shit hits the fan while Hogan is none of that. 

Verne shot himself in the foot. But that’s not important (well it is but I’m educated on the story enough to go into it…) how’s the match? I didn’t hate it. First off Hogan is over as hell. The crowd is fully behind the Hulkster. I will never understand how promoters like Verne and Vince just don’t seem to care about that if it’s not the plan they had laid out. Like I get egos and stubbornness but they’re in the business of making money…you know what I’m off topic, let’s focus. 

For A majority of the match Bockwinkel gets tossed around and beat up. He has flurries of offense but ultimately they’re always shut down by the Immortal One. For all intents and purposes, this match is booked to get Hulk over and convince fans of certain victory for their guy…then it all goes to shit. 

Hulk wins, like actually wins. Big Leg Drop, clean three count new champ and the crowd love it…so naturally they fuck it up. After a couple of ref bumps, Hogan tosses Bockwinkel over the top rope and out of the ring. The cunt President waits until the crowd are excited and Hogan is celebrating to point this DQ out for some odd reason. It goes over like a Slayer concert at the Vatican. Cups are thrown, bullshit is chanted, it’s a mess.

In terms of the actual match, it was fine. Nothing special either way. But the booking makes this match infamous. Obviously it’s debatable whether Hulkamania would actually come to pass like it did if Hogan stayed in the AWA but how do you hear the crowd support for the win and not call an audible.

Day 5 2021

 

Wrestling Society Xtra 2/27/07

D.I.F.H. (Tyler Black and Jimmy Jacobs) vs. Team Dragon Gate (Horiguchi and Yoshino)

Wrestling Society X, a bright flame snuffed out before it could truly…illuminate? That metaphor fell apart. Nevermind, WSX was an interesting experiment. It aired on MTV, featured a crowd full of plants, musical guest performances (and musical guests on commentary which was a terrible idea in hindsight), Indy stars of the time (Matt Cross, Age of the Fall, Yoshino, Luke Hawx, Sara Del Rey for like two episodes), oh and shit blowing up. WSX brought a lot to the table that American fans didn’t get on tv. Piranha Tank Death Match, [Redacted] electrocuting a guy, an exploding coffin…and yet they got canceled because Judas Mesias threw a fireball at Vampiro. Go figure. 

History lesson out of the way, Doing It For Her! Jimmy’s gimmick was being emo (emotionally secure) and often getting distracted by the cute women at ringside which angered his intense, metalhead (I guess?) partner as it cost them matches. Team Dragon Gate are of course Indy legends that were two/six of what is considered an all-time Six Man Tag Match in ROH.

If you haven’t figured it by now, the match is incredibly short. Jacobs and Geniki start things off with some chain wrestling. Jacobs tries to hug Tyler before he tags in but the future star has better things to do…getting into a chop battle with Yoshino. Things speed after this and we start to see some patented teamwork from the DG crew. Not to be outdone, D.I.F.H. show their own teamwork which ultimately leads to a Senton from Jacobs followed by a Michinoku Driver by Black for the win. 

For what this was, it was alright. The DG crew and Black are cabs old of much more and if they had more time, they probably could’ve soon off a little more and got a really great match going. But as it stands, a decent from four capable workers…oh and one last note, Pusha T and someone else from the group Clipse are on commentary. It’s not good, and they insinuate that the uber-sensitive Jacobs is gay. 2007 ladies and gentlemen!

Day 4 2021

 

ECW Hostile City Showdown 1995

Terry Funk vs. Cactus Jack

I believe this would be quintessential ECW. This is the shit that got them so much publicity in the early days. And it’s ugly from the word go. 

Terry basically tells the ring announcer to fuck off because the fans know who both men are. Cactus one ups his mentor and invites Terry into the crowd to fight. Terry obliges but goes to a different side of the crowd and calls Cactus over. Theoretically this should work in Funks favor but he has back turned to Cactus so the One Eared Wonder takes early control. 

They brawl up to the commentary position and proceed to will on each other with chairs. After a table spot, they go back through the crowd and to ringside. The Funker continues to lay into Cactus with a chair he brought back as a souvenir. Cactus attempts to counter this with a crutch, a cookie sheet, and a frying pan. Funk no sells the pan because he’s the goddamn Funker and Betty Cocker ain’t got shit on him. 

The chaos continues into the ring and for no reason Cactus brings a RubberMaid trash can into the mix. Because that’s what the match needed. Funk finds beer bottles in the garbage over and breaks one over Cactus’ head which brings us our first drop of blood. Funk finds two more bottles…and breaks them. He then channels Nick Gage and drags them across Cactus’ face, chest, and arm. 

Poor Mikey Whipwreck and Hack Myers attempt to subdue The Funker to no avail. It’s for all for nought as Cactus gets a near fall when Funk tries for the Spinning Toe Hold and then DDTs Funk onto a chair…then I’m pretty sure Sandman fucked up. 

He comes down and attempts to hit Cactus with the kendo stick but gets Funk instead. The bell rings but Cactus takes out Sandman and DDTs Funk on the chair again and the ref counts the fall. So either Sandman came out too early or this is was just classic ECW car crash booking. 

If you like crazy hardcore brawls then this is exactly for you. Funk and Foley revolutionized this style of wrestling state side and for better or worse left a lasting impact on the business. This is exactly what it was advertised to be, a bloody, dirty grudge match and it’s so good. 

Day 3 2021

 

AEW Dynamite 11/17/21

Tag Team Match

Chaos (Orange Cassidy and Tomohiro Ishii) vs. The Butcher and The Blade

STONE PITBULL!

I don’t know when or why the Blade started to resemble The NWO Disciple but when you choose the name Pepper Parks I guess you can’t be trusted to make good decisions. Speaking of bad decisions, Blade starts off the match with Ishii and tries to take advantage by striking Ishii… which goes about as well as you’d expect. After Ishii knocks Blade around he tags in Orange to do his thing and take a HUGE Shoulder Block from Butcher. 

After Blades, Butchers, and Beyond take over and work over OC it’s Ishiis turn to knock Blade around some more than we finally, FINALLY get the HOSS SHIT. 

Butcher and Ishii go to war with the Butcher winning out…for a few seconds. Ishii comes back and takes control back with one Forearm Strike. OC comes back in and almost loses the match but out quicks Air B&B  and brings Ishii back in. After some attempted interference that backfires, Ishii finishes the Blade off with a Lariat and a Brainbuster. 

Great match! OC and Ishii is such a ridiculous tag team and I need to see more of them together. Fuck the Guerillas, let these two win the Tag League. 

Day 2 2021

 

Progress Chapter 115

Progress Tag Team Championship Dog House Rules Match

Big Money Gun Dogs (Big Guns Joe and Gene Munny) vs. Lykos Gym (Kid Lykos 1 and Kid Lykos 2)(c)

Remember when Progress was the next big thing in wrestling? Remember when Covid, Speaking Out, and NXT UK didn’t rip their roster to shreds? Good times. But Cara Noir is still champion, so at least there’s that. Speaking of Mr. Noir. I’ve decided to see what he’s been up to as champ…a whole lot of nothing. Like I said Progress was stripped bare of all its name talent by Speaking Out (for the better) and NXT UK (for the worse).

Gone are guys like WALTER, Dragunov, and David Starr (again for the better), here to stay are guys like Luke Jacobs, Charlie Sterling, and Nick Riley. I’m not discrediting any of them when it comes to talent but right now Progress has less heat than the Amish. Anyway, let’s check on the Tag Division and see what the fuck a Dog House Rules match is shall we. 

It’s just a No DQ Tornado Tag Team Match. Munny and Joe jump the Lykoses (Lykosi?) as soon as they can. Lykos 1 and Munny leave for a bit letting Joe and 2 show off a little. The OG and Munny re-emerge and tease tossing the other off of the balcony before disappearing again. 

The two eventually make their way back into the match and things begin to pick up. It’s not long before the plunder finds its way into the match. Everything from chains to dog food bowls, unique to say the least. Lykos^2 outwit the Dogs work superior, slick, and underhanded teamwork. OG Lykos may be held together with silly putty but they're a damn good team.

This was a fun match. I hesitate to call it good because some people will be turned off by the more comedic aspects but I had a blast watching. Munny is entertaining as hell, and the Lykoses are a really smooth tag team.